Facing Confrontations 

Sometimes walking our path means confronting an obstruction. Sometimes, we are given a path around it, under it or over it. But sometimes, we are asked to stand our ground and confront it. 

I once heard a yoga teacher tell a class that yogis are “peaceful” and “don’t fight”.  I kindly confronted her on this point, reminding her that the Bhagavad Gita, a central yogic text, is entirely about the divine embodied as the God Krishna showing up on a battlefield to persuade the main character, Arjuna, who is in internal conflict about what to do, that he needs to do his duty and fight. 

Essentially, Krishna says that we have to live our dharma and do our life’s duties even when we would rather not.  It’s important if you are not familiar with the text to know that Arjuna and his ancestors have already exhausted every peaceable means by which to confront the problem. Krishna is certainly not advising fighting for the sake of fighting. But Krishna also does not tell Arjuna to be peaceful in the sense that he should lay down upon the ground and refuse to battle.  (Though Arjuna in his confusion and fear would like to.) He instead urges Arjuna to be peaceful within himself – to accept that this is his life’s duty, that fighting for this cause is something he has incarnated to do…Arjuna knows this deep down in his soul, but he judges himself for being called to battle.  He wishes his duty were different than it was.  But Krishna with very beautiful and powerful examples shows how much bigger everything is than the individual while also expounding on how important the warrior’s individual role in it is. 

Being peaceful and not fighting are two different things.  Gandhi was peaceful.  Martin Luther King, Jr. was peaceful.  But they both confronted and fought against existing systems and the individuals who embodied them.  They did refine the battlefield though, teaching millions of others the potential power of non-violent confrontation. The peace they embodied was within themselves – and the means with which they fought their battles revealed this deep inner peace toward humanity.  Their battles, as the most important battles are, were righteous – they were matters of human justice.

Sometimes yogis or other spiritual seekers have a mistaken expectation of what living a spiritual life looks like.  I know that I used to think being spiritual meant being above everything, being untouched…it looked something like floating around in the air in a lotus position with a serene expression never leaving my unlined face.  But as I deepen and deepen and broaden my spiritual practice, I find that what it looks more like is feeling deeply, is embodying one’s own true, authentic nature – however silly, fiery, transformative and challenging that nature is.  It also means being courageous. It means being able to hear your heart’s whispers and being willing to act on that guidance even when your actions may cause you to have to confront the injustices or negligences of another person or institution.  

Developing our spiritual connection doesn’t make us instantly popular with everyone or make our life problem-free and easy.  What it does do is give us a connection to our most authentic self and to the divine love and support that is our birthright.  With this on our side, we are much more equipped to face the difficult battles of our life with a sense of peace.

Krishna stresses over and over that we are here to take action – change through action is the nature of this world.  We can’t simply stick our heads in the sand and hope that someone else does our duty.  When we are called in our hearts to answer justice’s call, we must – but we can do so with confidence in our divine nature and with unattachment to the outcome.  The actions are ours, but the results belong to the divine. 

Peace and justice are worth fighting for, whether we are called to confront a neglectful landlord, an unjust work environment, an individual who is threatening our well being or an institution or government that is participating in unjust or harmful acts. We create change by envisioning it, believing in it, and taking the actions that we are called to in order to make it come about.  We are all called to play our role. We a play a role within ourselves and we play a role in the world. We can play that role peacefully by practicing meditation and prayer before, after or during a confrontation.  We can asked to be guided to our highest possibility.  We can treat every being in the situation with respect.  We can do our best to remain calm and thoughtful and open to the highest guidance.  But we must do, it is why we came here – we embodied out of a desire to learn and grow individually and collectively.  We are here to change and shape our selves and the world.  

Walk lovingly through your battles knowing that the divine is in all things and that through these greater conflicts, even when it seems darkest, we are moving toward increased happiness, love, light and peace for all beings.  It is possible to do our duty, however trying, with calm and peace and even joy, in our hearts.   

Peace be with you.

Accepting conflict 

It can be vey difficult for some of us to live with conflict.  Our anxiety and fear yearns for all relationships, decisions and problems to be solved, as if life were simply a series of dangling knots to tie off and move on from. 

But life is not this. It is ever changing. It shifts. It runs up against itself. It encounters friction. It smashes against itself. It creates and it destroys. 

We experience conflict whenever our external life is not a match with our internal life. We experience conflict in our relationships when others don’t feel or act or behave as we think they should or when their actions or feelings create pain that we want to stop.  Some of us fall into frequent conflict with life because we expect the world around us to solve our problems and we do not realize that we are simply seeking outside of ourselves what we need to look for within. 

But all of this conflict serves a purpose. It creates change, self-reflection, examination of ourselves and the world around us.  While we may not feel we always have perfect harmony in our relationships, that is alright. We can seek a greater harmony – acceptance of the world and our lives as it is today with all of it’s apparent unfinished business, dangling ropes, and knotty confusions.  

We don’t have to be Pollyanna about it.  We don’t have to always like it and we certainly don’t have to invite in unnecessary conflict by repeatedly insisting on our way or setting ourselves up as victims. But we can accept it and even see the beauty in it. Afterall, it is the conflicts creatures have with their environments that cause them to evolve and grow stronger and more in harmony with their environment over time.  

We are all evolving.  We are all coming into greater harmony. Even if you don’t feel like we are after watching te news or arguing with a friend, the truth is we are.  Be patient. Trust. Enjoy.  It is happening. Right now. Seek that greater peace.